Living in A Fog
I am sitting at the dentist office for my oldest daughter Avril's dentist appointment. Normally there would be 2 girls, 2 best friends, 2 sisters, together here for their appointment. There would be laughter and asking if they have to go right back to school after. I had to cancel the appointment for McKel. When asked why... "she passed away". Words I never thought I would have to say. The look of shock on people's faces every time I have to say those words to cancel appointment, cancel bank accounts, close college savings, cancel insurance, volleyball teams.... the whole life of an exhuberant, active, beautiful child is gone. I don't know how to grieve this deep of grief. It feels like life should not continue. For anyone. The brightest light is gone from this world, and somehow it keeps going. Don't people know what has been lost in the world? How do I pretend to go through all the normal social motions of being alive o...